Judge Dredd

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Rob Schneider, and Diane Lane
Director: Danny Cannon
Writer: William Wisher and Steven E. De Souza
Studio: Hollywood Pictures

Judge Dredd is a British comic that I have enjoyed quite a bit, but it's sad to see such a middling movie produced from what I consider strong source material. I don't want to turn this into a comic book blog (I swear I will review a non-comic movie one day), but I do feel that one thing about this film as a comic adaptation needs to be addressed. The plot of the film is pretty much cherry picked from some of Judge Dredd's best comics, and these different characters, plots, and tones are all held together by the mold of a generic action film. Once Judge Dredd takes off his costume, he's indistinguishable from any number of characters Stallone plays in a shoot em up. It's all so by the numbers that it gets a little boring.

The film also thinks that one opening wall of text is enough to explain everything to the viewer. Ideas like a, "Block War", how this crazy future government works, why the hell they retire via, "Long Walk," or why they let the evil German into their American dystopia are only half explained, and on the flip side of the coin, how Judge Dredd's gun works is hammered at the viewer repeatedly. They demonstrate it in the opening of the film with an action scene, then Dredd explains it in a school setting to some rookies, and finally it's detailed further in a painfully slow, expository dialog ridden trial scene with a 3 D model. It's essential to the film's final battle to understand how it works, but it's sad to see so much screen time lost to a fucking prop.The gun is more important than most of the film's supporting cast, but I still wish it had more screen time than Rob Schneider.

Speaking of Mr. Schneider, he has too much screen time; he is the funny sidekick that is just fucking annoying. I am sure somebody thought the two of them could recapture their chemistry from Demolition Man, but they must have forgotten that Schneider only had about six lines in that movie. If only he had as little to say in Judge Dredd, we could be spared the scene where he humorously asks Dredd to not rape an unconscious male guard (rape double standard = comedy gold).

Direction: Despite the cookie cutter storyline, I love the look of the film. The outfits for the Judges are actually designed by Versace which gives them this great runway fascism look, and they create interesting new outfits as you strip away the body armor. Mega City One is very much crafted in the image of a less Japan-centric version of Bladerunner's LA; it's crowded, dirty, full of garish ads, butler robots, and flying cars. The other excellent work is to make the Judge's headquarters as clean and polished as possible which gives them the overtones of being a ruling class looking down on an impoverished citizenship. Also, the cyborg Mean Machine and ABC warrior robot look really fucking cool.

There are some scenes that really work. The flying bike chase looks good, and the effects hold up after all this time. There is also a great scene transition from the villain killing a guard to Dredd shooting a training target. Otherwise, there's what I would call "attempted directing" such as the lighting and music used as Dredd gazes at a statue of Lady Justice and recommits himself to the law. It almost works, unlike the writing.

Writing: This is the tragedy of the film; it's a series of great special effects and design work ruined by weak dialog connected by cliche after cliche after cliche. I'll just do a quick cliche rundown: wall of text to explain scifi premise; bible thumping hillbillies; comedy sidekick; emotionless loner cop; council of elders fighting over how to lead; snotty yuppie with a sports car; and the wrongfully accused officer of the law.

On top of that, the film tries way to hard to spoon feed the audience catchphrases and puns. Dredd's catchphrase of, "I knew you'd say that," is uttered six times in 96 minutes, and it's said 3 times in the first 15. I was sick of it before the first act finished. The comedy also hurts; with lines like "court's adjourned," burning their way into my ears.
The best line belongs to the villain, and it goes like this, "Guilt and innocence is a matter of timing." I will give them credit for that little bit.

Acting: Stallone tries here, but he's never that good. He also has a good couple scenes where he has to act through a helmet, and this involves him putting all of his emotions into the only visible part of his face, his chin. When he is accused of murder, he literally chins the hell out of that scene with all the protruding, clenched glory that entails.

Armand Assanted does the best acting in the film by playing Dredd's evil twin as a twisted impersonation of Stallone. It's pretty funny here and there, and it's clear that he's enjoying himself.

Everybody else is forgettable (I am not thinking about Schneider more than I have to), but Jürgen Prochnow is hilariously awful as the traitorous Judge Griffen. I could barely contain my laughter at how hammy he was; he just shouts the hell out of his evil little German plans when he explains them. It's funny, but I don't think that he intended that.

Editing: Effects are integrated well, and the scenes transition very well. I just wish the cut Rob out completetly.

Soundtrack/Score: Generic

Self-Awareness: It's about as aware as most one-liner action movies, but not up to the lofty heights of it's spiritual predecessor Demolition Man.

Overall Rating: 2 stars, and I would call that charitable. Unless you are a huge Dredd fan, I would just rent the above mentioned Demolition Man. Seriously, rent it now; if you don't see it before we review it, that's minus 15 canary points.

-Pete

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