Batmanime aka Gotham Knight


Starring: Kevin Conroy

Directors: Yasuhiro Aoki; Futshi Higashide, Futoshi Higashide, Toshiyki Kubooka, Hiroshi, Morioka, Jon-Sik Nam, and Shoujirou Nishimi

Writer
s: Josh Olsen, Brian Azzarello, Jordan Goldberg, Greg Rucka, Alan Burnett, David S. Goyer

Studio
: Warner Brothers

There are a great many things to thank the Wachowski siblings (don't forget that one of them is a girl now) for. One of them is the plethora of animated tie-in movies released direct to DVD. I'm not gonna lie; I haven't seen The Animatrix in years. Memories of the sequels have kept me far from anything Matrix for a while now, but I do have fond memories of The Animatrix. I remember it being uneven, but some of those short films stood out as being better than the sequels. A few interesting little stories set in the then untapped and rich world of The Matrix.

Sadly, Batman has had his rich world thoroughly tapped harder than a keg at a phrat party. Movies, TV shows, comic books, radio shows, novels, picture books, and even trading cards have told stories about Batman, his friends, his enemies, and people who just know of him. This leaves the Batmanime team with the problem of going over things other people have done before. Even in the confines of the Nolan Batman films, there aren't a terrible amount of questions that beg to be answered. The recent movies give us a good picture of what Gotham City is like, how the public and police relate to Batman, where he gets his wonderful toys, and how he trained to become Batman. A few of these short stories just answer these question again but with anime. A few just have him fight a villain that won't be in the movies anytime soon. One does a new version of a classic Batman story that started as a comic, was an episode of the nineties cartoon show, and now has an anime version.

The bottom line is that none of this is ground breaking. It's a concept borrowed from another film franchise and applied to Batman. It honestly feels disposable and forgettable; they had one of my favorite obscure Batman villains, Deadshot, and even with that little touch of fanboy pandering, I was still pretty unimpressed with the affair. I fell asleep during the third or fourth short, and I can't even remember which one now.

Writing
:The biggest problem is making the story line interconnect; it kills the pacing for the entire project. It's also glaring because the different writers and animators handle some of these characters very differently. Instead of being a few short films or a full animated movie; it becomes an awkward hybrid of the two. The interconnected story lines give the feeling like the shorts are building to something, but they aren't. It makes the ending to the entire thing feel arbitrary. It also makes some of the shorts feel slow and uninteresting because they aren't a part of this bigger narrative that's more of an illusion than anything else.

On top of that, the dialog isn't as sharp as it could be; it's often too obvious and expository. It gets a little George Lucas in terms of characters describing their feelings and the themes of a scene. There are some good ideas here and there, but it just never quite comes together.

Directing
: The Matrix and The Animatrix had a shared background in their visual style and even the writing. The Wachowskis took from anime, Hong Kong action films, and Grant Morrison comics (don't get me started) to create the iconic first part of their trilogy. It was an easy transition to make.

Batman Begins is not connected to anime in any major way. Parts of the Narrows neighborhood in the film were modeled on Tokyo neighborhoods, but otherwise, these are not styles that work together to well. It's a bit jarring to see the more realistic mobsters of the new Batman movies suddenly look completely different and then have an all out John Woo style gun battle. It simply does not jive with the parent product. Also, certain directors use designs for the characters that are simply hideous looks for Batman and his supporting cast in any style.

Acting: Keving Conroy is still awesome. The rest of the voice work is not.

Editing: For the most part it looks fine.

Sound
: Acceptable.

Soundtrack/Score
: It sounds like a diet version of the recent film scores.

Self-Awareness
: Not at all.

Overall Rating
: Wake me when it's over.

-Pete

The Tattooist (2007)



Starring: Jason Behr, Mia Blake
Directed by: Peter Burger
Written by: Matthew Grainger, Jonathan King
Studio: Eyeworks Touchdown

THE TATTOOIST faithfully follows in the tradition of rigorous anthropological case studies found in cheap-thrill horror movies over the past quarter-century or so. For example, we can see traces of the ambitious thinking behind the lauded 90's movie about magic gypies THINNER and the perennial classic exposing Southern brutality disguised as theme house hospitality HOUSE OF A 1,000 CORPSES in the stream of urine that is Burger's newest creation. Here, though, it's the long-abused peoples of Samoa that get the heavy handed treatment. Yay white people.

Jason Behr's character is a tattooist that claims his work can HEAL THE SICK. Naturally, people get pissed off at him when his inkings don't do shit but hell, it's not like he set up shop in a place where bloggers get convicted of sedition. Oh wait, he does live in Singapore, maybe he shouldn't be writing checks (i.e. doing "magic" with his tattoo machine) that his ass can't afford (the resulting caning). But before he figures out that he'd be smart to hightail out of there, he runs into some Samoan chick and, given his appreciation of her and the islandic culture, steals some of her cousin's traditional tat equipment. He's a lovable scrapper, really.

After he accidentally cuts himself good with the stolen goods (I really would want this guy sticking pointy drills in me, yeppers) and moving to New Zealand, the dbag then gets all caught up in some kind of fucked up Samoan ghost story that I quickly lost interest in. Turns out there's a ghost of some young dead Samoan boy that, rather than take revenge on his murderers (who turn out to be his family members, as expected for such a uncivilized and barbaric race), is killing people that the dumbfuck protag inks up. yeah, I don't get it either - there might have been an explanation given beyond Jason Behr cutting himself with the stick and therefore opening up a "channel" for the spirit, but fuck if I cared by the end of this crapfest. I'm pretty sure the damn stick has cut into other people before, e.g. customers.

Honestly folks, I read the back of this, saw that there was nudity and decided, "Fuck it, Blockbuster owes me a free rental anyway". Sure there were tits, sure there was blood, sure there was blood on said tits, but nothing other than your standard VOODOO COLORED PEOPLE BAD, LET'S SOLVE THE MYSTERY AND THEN FLY BACK FOR SOME COSMOS. I'm so done with this movie.

Writing: Boring plot, all the deaths occur over the course of only three or four hammy scenes, I guess there's a twist?

Direction: Boy this guy really likes tattoos. And women coughing up really viscous ink. And overwrought flashback sequences.

Acting: Behr conveys the emotional state of befuddlement quite well but I guess that's all the character ever felt. That and the occasional constipation.

Editing: The first act drags on and on, then we get a bunch of quick ghost-murderer scenes and then a CLIMATIC CONFRONTATION SCENE that I couldn't be bothered to even watch with both eyes (one was focused on porn).

Sound: They try to make the sound of hitting a stick with another stick the new Jason Voorhes murder cue.

Soundtrack/Score: When the protagonist first arrives in New Zealand, some annoying grunge band sounding fifteen years too late out of Seattle busts our movie-watchin' world WIDE OPEN. Who ever put the soundtrack together should go with a more relevant, maybe even talented band next time - perhaps one from New Zealand (don't ask me to name any).

Self-Awareness: This film recognizes the wholesome and unexplored culture of Samoans - and decides to depict them as either a bunch of conspiring child-killers or wannabe gangstas blasting trashy hip-hop from their tricked out whips. Remarkable.

Overall rating: *

~Ian