Terminator: Salvation

Starring: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington
Directed by: Mc-*MOTHERFUCKING*-G
Written by: John D. Brancato, Michael Ferris
Studio: Halcyon

I'M JUST GOING to post questions and hope someone, someday gets back to me with the answers. Thanks in advance, wise man of the future:

• Why would Skynet centralize all of its West Coast operations (terminator production, mission coordination, secret lab experiments, human prisoner facilities) in one place, e.g. San Francisco?

• Why would Skynet spend so much time experimenting on humans to figure out their physiology? Doesn't it have access to the sum total of human knowledge?

• Why does Skynet HQ have hallways, computer monitors, instructions in English, doors, etc. etc. etc.?

• Why are all of the resistance leaders housed on the same submarine?

• Why would Skynet construct huge, lumbering, anthropomorphized robots who can't give chase for longer than a mile for the purposes of capturing surviving humans?

• Beyond the elementary attempt at a symbolic motif, why did Marcus Wright get to keep his heart for the transformation when a cybernetic equivalent would probably work much, much better and for much, much longer?

• Better yet, how hard is to conduct open-heart surgery/transplant in the desert, with very little on-hand medical resources and trained staffed (being it's the after Judgment Day and all) AND when you have no idea if the new heart for John Connor is compatible with his biology?

• Who's decision was it to make this movie PG-13 and thus deprive us of awesome amounts of gore, human experimentation and Blair Williams' tits?

• Who told Christian Bale he didn't need to act?

• Who the fuck does McG think he is and how did this project land in the hands of the man who directed Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle?

Writing: Pain. Dialog rested on action movie cliches, there was a plot, yes, and that plot was gay. Sheer idiocy on Skynet's part. Why the hell Marcus Wright was the hero of the film instead of John Connor will forever bother me.

Direction: McG, please self-immolate.

Acting: Robotic Christian Bale ###ONLINE###.

Sam Worthington is worthless, stop saying he's the next big thing.

Editing: 12 continuity errors and camera goofs on the imdb page...and still counting...

Sound: LOUD = EXCITEMENT, QUIET = SERIOUS

Soundtrack/Score: It was all instrumental waste except the classic terminator theme, thank God they didn't remix it or insert will.i.am singing.

Self-Awareness: I'LL BE BACK COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE CGI ARNIE WOULDN'T IT BE COOL IF TERMINATORS HAD MOTORCYCLES?! BETTER YET, WHAT IF THEY WERE MOTORCYCLES?!!?!

Overall rating: * 1/2

~Ian