Batman Returns

Starring: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Christopher Walken, Michelle Pfeiffer

Director: Tim Burton

Writer: Sam Hamm, Daniel Waters

Studio: Warner Bros.

In case you were in some kind of isolation experiment, I would like to inform you that there is a new Batman movie headed our way. In honor of that, I will be reviewing all of the Batman films, and I might even be done before The Dark Knight leaves theaters.

I decided to begin with the red headed step-child of Batman films; Batman Returns was the film that executives feared had killed the franchise by being too weird and dark. Making this sequel gave Tim Burton a nervous breakdown, and it lost money on the most important aspect of a blockbuster: toys. Apparently, little tykes that weren't myself didn't want toys of a child-murdering, foul-mouthed, man-monster played byDanny DeVito, but that's their loss and my gain.

The main problem with the film is also it's greatest strength. Burton and company aren't interested in making a superhero film; Batman Returns is a gothic monster movie
full of Byronic protagonists and dark humor. The four leads are all monsters of different types. Batman is a functional but lonely one; in this film, Batman has become a completely natural but isolating role for Bruce Wayne. He wants Catwoman to be his kindred spirit, but she can't help but be devoured by the demons that made her into a leather clad somersaulting sex kitten. The Penguin is on a similar arc to Catwoman, but he's not a person with a destroyed humanity. He's sewer dwelling monstrosity who flirts with being human for all the wrong reasons like power, sex, and politics. The only character that is a complete monster is Walken's character of Max Schreck, and of course, he's the most celebrated person in the view of Gotham City. Max wants to build an empire to leave to his son Chip, who bears a creepy likeness to his dad, and he doesn't care who he hurts along the way.

This film was created as the improvement of Batman, Burton and company saw the flaws and decided to build a completely new creature instead of a cookie cutter sequel. The most striking choice is making this an ensemble film rather than making it all about Batman; he's definitely a smaller part of this film. He doesn't even show up until about fifteen minutes into the film. He's treated as a reliable known quantity, and the new characters and scenarios for this film are given the most attention. I don't mind the reduced Batman because he was always pretty stiff in the nineties movies; that damn stifling suit makes it impossible to bend, stretch, or emote. Luckily, the rest of the film is a twisted fun house of activity.

Writing: There are a few bad action movie exchanges here and there, but for the most part, the writing works perfectly. The dialog between characters really shines, and the plot is remarkably tight for a film that has three villains. Everything ties together closely, and no scenes are wasted.

Direction: It's a gorgeous film; the look of the first film is perfected by Burton and company's additions to the city. The sewers, frozen zoos, evil carnivals, and subterranean layers are all fantastic locals, but this isn't a mindless jump from set piece to set piece. Burton creates excellent mood, builds themes and character dynamics that all move towards a climatic subterranean showdown.

Acting: Keaton doesn't have as much to do as the first Batman, but he still pulls his weight. Pfeiffer pulls off a very complicated Catwoman; she's damaged, sexy, psychotic, and tragic which is so much more than many actresses could handle. Danny DeVito plays the Penguin as Nicholson played the Joker; it's a caricature of himself. Just like Jack's take; it works. His dirty fowl is a great foil to the other characters, and he manages to hit some strong pathos and fucking hilarious comic relief. It's pretty impressive considering all the goddamn make up he's in. Walken is solid gold, and some of his lines in this film are the best sentences he has ever uttered. Walken also looks amazing in this film; I dare you to just dig that hair for just a few minutes. If you go see shitty movies just for a taste of Walken's manic magic, try this one; for once, the film is as good as Walken.

Editing: Nice clean cuts throughout, and some of the best sequences are dependent on excellent editing. A personal favorite is the remote control bat-mobile scene. It cuts back and forth between Batman and the Penguin, but it's tense rather than disorienting.

Sound: Great sound all around, and nice little sound effects are added here and there to accentuate some of the weirder props like trick umbrellas, rubber ducks, penguin soldiers, and severed hands.

Soundtrack/Score: Danny Elfman's Batman and Batman Returns soundtrack work is so good that he's copied it for several other movies. Despite the retreads, I still love the original. Also, this movie has no commercial soundtrack inserts awkwardly cluttering up scenes.

Self-awareness: The film knows the bizarre world that Batman stories occur in, and it also knows when that world becomes too bizarre to be played straight. Certain scenes revel in their dark absurdity because Danny Devitto riding in a giant yellow duck is comedy gold, even if he's kidnapping children while he does it.

Overall Rating: In the small, inbred sub-genre of super-hero movies; this film is fucking perfection. I give it five fucking stars. Deal with it. (Now say it like Walken.)

Yay or Nay!: I give this a screaming porn star g-spot orgasm of a yay.

-Pete